Piece of copy..

I be but a humble pirate, a scallywag, a buccaneer. I be a one legged captain, with eyes for only treasure and rum.  I warn off ye folk with the old jolly roger. I hornswaggle, cheat and make my way in gold. At times I’ve been in Davy’s grip and cursed upon by the almighty black spot, but I be a swash buckling pioneer and have done away with ye folk who have caused me to fear. I have a trusted side kick who is at my beck and call, he be Derek my talking budgie who sits upon my shoulder. I am obsessed with hats in any shape or form; they need to be comfortable, loose and commendable. I have a hat for every occasion, whether it be for fighting, commanding or steering my ship and I keep a dusty compass and silver bullets at all times, in case I be lost or find a monstrous creature in the high seas. Close encounters with the gallows have I, afraid to be at the gates of the hangman’s noose, aye! Avast! I am not to be reasoned or bargained with; mutiny is the only option to overthrow my place upon this ship. My crew is that of a fearful sort, who are loyal and truthful but only to the captain. They follow my commands without a huff or a whistle; they know they can walk the plank if they give me any trouble. We’ve plundered into the depths of every ocean to find hidden treasure, taken it and spent it to soften our greedy ways and desires.